


Dazed and Kinda Lonely

by ChristianCat



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Harry Hart Lives, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 21:24:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6094444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristianCat/pseuds/ChristianCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy falls back into his alcoholism, Harry is there to care for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dazed and Kinda Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I wrote a good 800 words whilst on the train and the app I was writing on didn't save it or I did something wrong or whatever so this is basically a crappier version of a masterpiece. Sorry.

Eggsy doesn’t believe in rinsing out glasses and reusing them. He likes to leave cans and bottles lying around as mementos of the night before, a reminder as to how much he’d really drank. Hiding empty bottles and cans and reusing the same glass just hid his problem from himself.

Eggsy was quickly becoming a full blow alcoholic, almost constantly drunk and nervous when he wasn’t. He started using up all the glasses and leaving a mess after himself as soon as he realised this, that hiding his problem wouldn’t do him any good in the long run. And now it’s a habit he can’t shake, despite getting shitfaced (as he often put it, much to Harry’s distaste) very infrequently. Harry had helped him get to this stage, giving him words of encouragement and constant support along the way.

Before Harry intervened, Eggsy would become dangerously drunk before Harry could even leave for his missions. It terrified Harry to think that Eggsy might drink himself to death while he was away. He’d installed cameras for when he couldn’t be there, so that someone within Kingsman could keep tabs on him while he was away. They’d send for an ambulance if he needed one. Harry often worried how Eggsy would react to the withdrawal, if he’d snap and start drinking or if he’d sit the day out through the sweats and shakes. 

Now, Eggsy had managed to limit his drinking to the nights he missed Harry the most. He hated it when Harry was away from home. Why did he have to take a proactive part in Kingsman? He was Arthur, he was allowed to stay in the office and do paperwork (or nothing) all day! Harry should be the one missing the sound of Eggsy’s voice after seven jaeger bombs. (Harry often complained of his love of dropping shots into tall glasses of non-alcoholic drinks; “a shot peach schnapps and lemonade in a tall glass is not a real jaeger bomb and is just frightfully stupid!”)

Harry arrived home late after one mission, sore and weary, hoping to find his Eggsy curled up in bed, fast asleep. He took his shoes and coat of quietly, leaving his umbrella by the door. Maybe Eggsy had been sleeping alongside JB again. JB was absolutely forbidden from sleeping on their bed. Unless Harry wasn’t home, of course. He loved seeing them cuddled up together, the two of them finally quiet.

He went through to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, stretching out his arms and yawning. He expected a row of glasses or empty bottles, but the counter was empty. He smiled to himself with relief. He wasn’t going to have to put his… “shitfaced” lover into the recovery position, or wake him up to convince him to drink a glass of water.

“ ’Arry?”

Harry turned around and sighed. Eggsy was stood in the doorway, a half full bottle of cheap vodka dangling precariously from his fingertips. His hair was a mess and his eyes were red and puffy. His clothes were rumpled as though he’d been sleeping in them for a few days. Harry was willing to bet Eggsy had been eating into his drinks cabinet and hadn’t left the house in a few days. He was probably still drunk from the night before.

“I’ve missed y’ ‘arry,” He chuckled, rubbing his eye with the sleeve of his shirt.

Harry smiled and went over to him, taking the vodka from him, wrapping Eggsy up in his arms. “My dear boy, what on earth have you done to yourself?” He petted his hair gently.

“I watered it down, I swear, added lemonade to it,” Eggsy insisted, wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist. Being shorter than Harry and being able to burrow into his chest always made him feel so loved.

“Is this all you’ve had to drink tonight?” His fingers wound their way through his knotted hair, combing it out as gently as they could.

He nodded against his chest. “Tonight, yeah, I been drinkin’ more than usual,” He admitted. “I din’ mean to get bad, I swear on my life,” He let out a forlorn little sniffle.

Harry nodded and patted his back. “I understand, let me get you a glass of water, then we can go up to bed,”

Eggsy looked up and wiped his eyes again. He felt silly for crying in front of Harry. He’d only been gone for a week, he’d been gone for longer in the past. For some reason, he just couldn’t cope with it. He couldn’t bear Harry being gone, maybe being in danger. All of his hard work to cut down his drink habit had been destroyed. He was back to the same old ways.

Harry went over to the sink to pour him a tall glass of water. He was always willing to sit up all night with a drunken, and probably very sick Eggsy, no matter how tired he was. In his worst days, Eggsy would throw up on him while he slept, he’d wet the bed occasionally too. It wasn’t pleasant, and Eggsy always felt well and truly mortified in the morning. The mortification helped him get over the habit though.

“Ey, ‘arry, I’m sorry…” Eggsy slurred, slipping his clammy hand into Harry’s.

“Come on now, bed, I’ll carry this for you,” He kissed is temple and lead him up the stairs, careful to let Eggsy set the pace. He stumbled once or twice, but managed to make it up the stairs without falling and dragging Harry down with him.

Harry set the glass down on the dresser and led Eggsy over to their unmade bed, letting him collapse onto it. “Sit up for me now dear, you need to drink this,” He helped Eggsy up again, pushing his hair from his eyes.

“You din’ give me an answer,” He slurred, head slumping.

He bought the glass over and placed it in Eggsy’s hand, helping him to hold it steady.

“Answer to what?”

“When I say sorry, you din’ say nothing,”

Harry smiled and kissed the top of his head, helping him bring the glass to his lips.

 

“Oh sweetheart, of course I forgive you, I just wish you didn’t get yourself into this state, what if I hadn’t arrived home tonight to help you? What would’ve happened then?” He replied softly.

Eggsy pushed the glass away and sniffled. “You don’ have to be dealin’ with me, you could be with anyone better,” 

“Nonsense, why would I chose anyone else if I could have you?” Harry smiled, rubbing circles into his cheek with his thumb. 

“But you was hoping to jus’ come home and find me all normal and I let you down, ‘arry,”

“Don’t be silly love! You’re never a burden or an inconvenience for me, I actually really enjoy caring for you like this, it’s nice to have someone to care about,” He pressed a little kiss to the tip of his nose. “Don’t ever feel guilty for relapsing, darling, we’ll get you through it.”

Yes, Harry loved taking care of Eggsy, when he’d had a good nights sleep and he hadn’t just returned from a trip to Berlin. In truth, he was exhausted. He barely had the energy to keep himself awake, let alone keep Eggsy awake long enough to sober up a little. 

“So you’s staying with me, yeah? You ain’t mad?” Eggsy asked nervously. 

“Never, but I’d like to make a cup of tea, if you don’t mind? Will you be alright if I pop downstairs for a second? I won’t be two ticks,” Eggsy nodded and smiled, satisfied with his answer. “Keep drinking that, I won’t be a second,” 

Harry ran downstairs, making himself a cuppa as quick as he could. He didn’t even use a teapot or let the kettle finish boiling. It was a shit cup of tea, but he’d sacrifice a good cuppa for Eggsy. He’d sacrifice a lot of things for Eggsy. 

“Harry, I spilt the water,” Eggsy confessed when he came back. His eyes were wide with guilt, bottom lip quivering slightly. 

“It’s okay love, don’t cry, I’ll clean it up,” He set his tea on the nightstand and placed a hand on his shoulder. “How did you manage to spill it?”

“I wanted to cuddle JB but he wouldn’t come here,” He sniffled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. 

Harry chuckled. “Oh silly! We’ll change the sheets tomorrow, I’m sure we have some blankets around,” Harry smiled wearily. 

Eggsy couldn’t help but let the guilt sink in, despite Harry’s soft reassurances that he wasn’t mad. He’d done this to him too many times, made him stay up all night or embarrassed him with his drunken activities. He was clearly shattered, broken to his very soul and Eggsy couldn’t do anything about it. Harry wouldn’t let him, he’d never let drunk Eggsy take care of him. 

“Ey, ‘arry, I’m so sorry, look, why don’ you go to bed an’ I’ll sleep on the couch,” He sighed, rubbing his eyes. 

Harry turned and looked at him quizzically. “Don’t be silly, dear, why would I sleep here without you?” 

“Cause you’re so tired, and you deserve better than this,” He made a vague gesture to himself. 

Harry sighed and sat down at his feet, squeezing his ankle. “Don’t ever say that ever again, Eggsy, please, yes I’m tired, and I was hoping you’d be sweet and asleep, but I’m not mad, and I don’t want you to bring yourself down,” He paused, thinking carefully. “Eggsy, I’m tired of you putting yourself down, especially when you don’t feel good enough for me, when you mean the world and more to me and I feel so lucky to have you by my side,” 

He stared down at his lap for a while, hand on Eggsy’s ankle. Well and truly exhausted. God, he’d never been so exhausted. He just wanted to curl up to Eggsy, feel his hands in his hair or on the small of his back or anywhere, so long as Eggsy was holding him close. 

“Harry?” Eggsy said quietly. He looked up and smiled fondly. “Can I go to sleep, Harry?” He asked timidly. 

He chuckled and shuffled further up their bed to kiss his cheek. “One more glass of water and then you can try and sleep,” He pushed his hair from his eyes and smiled. “Let me go and get it for you, okay?” He stood up and found the now empty glass, going into their bathroom to refill it. 

Eggsy smiled to himself while he was gone, replaying his words over and over inside his head. Harry had a way of making him feel good, loved. Like he was of some value. 

He came back and smiled, handing the glass to him and patting his head. Eggsy giggled. 

“Do y’ really like taking care of me?” He asked, taking sips. 

Harry smiled and went about finding blankets for them to sleep with. Truth was, he’d never care for anyone like he cared for Eggsy. There were few people he’d stay up all night with, much less resuscitate while passed out from alcohol poisoning. Eggsy had taught Harry that alcoholism wasn’t always the result of someone’s stupidity, of someone who didn’t know their limits. In Eggsy’s case, it was the stress from his step-father and his sudden dead-end outlook on life. That wasn’t his fault. 

“Of course I do, love, I want to make sure you’re alright,” He found a pile of blankets and set them down, tugging the wet cover off their bed. JB grumbled and finally went over to Eggsy, much to his childish delight. He threw a couple of blankets at his feet, smiling as he watched his lover kick them around to get comfy. “How are you feeling now?” 

“Okay I guess, dizzy, a little sick,” He slurred. 

He patted his head again and started to undress for bed. Eggsy’s drunken mood swings baffled him, in a few minutes there’d be tears again. He crawled under the blankets alongside him, kissing his cheek. 

“Gosh, I’ve missed you,” He chuckled, resting his head on his chest. He sighed and blinked his eyes open, trying to stay awake. 

Eggsy beamed at him again and giggled, free hand petting his hair. “I’ve missed you too, a lot,” He blushed ashamedly. “I don’ know where I went wrong.”

“You didn’t, relapses are perfectly normal. Unfortunate, yes, but normal,” He looked up and smiled sleepily. “Finish your drink now, you need to sleep.”

He gulped down the last few mouthfuls, setting the glass on the nightstand. “Your tea’s here,” He chuckled, smiling. 

Harry rolled his eyes. “It’s gone cold by now, come on, I want cuddles,” 

Eggsy was more than happy to oblige, shuffling down to nestle into Harry’s chest. His head and stomach were spinning in two different directions, but Harry’s arms were warm and still. He sighed in his comfort, kissing his throat. 

“Harry? What happens if I’m sick or sumthin?” Eggsy asked, blushing a peculiar shade of red. 

“Then I’ll wake you up and help you clean up, stop worrying about it,” He closed his eyes and ran his hands down his back. 

“I’m sorry…” His speech was slurring again. 

Harry opened his eyes blearily and looked down at him. His eyes were half lidded and he was pouting slightly. He chuckled to himself. 

“Stop apologising, silly,”

“But I-“

Harry cut him off with a light kiss, holding onto the back of his neck. He wrapped his leg around him to pull him closer, holding him as if he was about to lose him. 

“Goodness Eggsy, you have nothing to be sorry for, I’ll love you no matter what,” He smiled tenderly and kissed him again quickly. 

“Not like this,”

“Even like this, darling.”

**Author's Note:**

> Talk to me on [Tumblr???](http://christiancat.tumblr.com/)


End file.
